Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Twenty-Nine
People sometimes had weird names for me when I was a kid.
Princess Diana.
The Hardy Girl.
I think I half-liked it, though.
.....
I'm a hard-cover sorta book, meaning to say that when it comes to feelings, I don't express them all that well. Sometimes I'm annoyed by people and I want to strangle them, but I don't say anything because I don't want to be mean. Sometimes I'm hurt but I don't say anything because I don't want to cry. You know, stuff like that. People do that all the time, right?
But the thing that I find hardest to express, even by words (which I always find easier to use), is how much I may love certain people. Like my family, or some friends.
I think people who express themselves easily tend to be frustrated with me over that.
Like if Kk Han begs me to say "I love you", I just reply, "Wait for your wedding day, hon."
If Mus says "I love you Dee," I'd just say "Ok" (which makes her irritated. She'd force me to say "I love you too", but she has yet to win)
And there was that one time when Mun said "Dee, I will love you forever and ever," which made me surprised because it was so... random and out of the blue. The reply that came from me was, "Yeah, I know. I love me too".
My Baba and I talked about it once. Saying "I love you", I mean. He finds it weird that people these days are saying it so much. Like this talk show where the host was calling her guest, and when she ended the phone call she said "Yeah, ok, bye. Love you."
People are passing those words so much these days, to the point of it being casual, that you just don't get the meaning of 'love' anymore. When you say that you love someone, it means that you are willing to sacrifice your life for that person, give up your liver if you have to, things like that. But because people are so easily saying 'I love you' to people like it's nothing, they just don't get the meaning anymore.
Me, I wish that people won't beg me to say I love them. Malu lah.
Some things don't need to be said, you know what I mean?
.....
9:35 AM
